Website I Found Entirely Too Late

I definitely bookmarked this last week but I never got around to reading anything on it.

SIGH......

TwoOfUs.org

For the record, I'm an inconsiderate jackass with bad time management and messed up priorities.

-RTJ

Blog Status

Per the insight of my good buddy Snipes McGee, I will try to be as meaningful as I can with these blogs. While I'm not here to give advice or try to convert anyone to the Tao of Ren, I do feel that I might have a certain brand of insight that I am eager to share (with anyone willing to read).

As Snipes so eloquently put it, "Daily blogs just become SuperTwitter after a while... And people's ideas are, most times, more interesting than people's lives."

Well spoken, sir.

As of earlier this summer I stopped playing Final Fantasy XI. Matter of fact, once FFXIV was announced, I finally didn't feel bad about giving up. I was going to anyway, but the announcement of FFXIV just helped further my cause.

As it was, I was just doing Dynamis and Sky, and I didn't really care about gear from either. I was broke, no good at working the market and bored with the pacing of the game. Also, I was at the very peak of what I could be as a player without gear, and being as how I'm allergic to end-game and too lazy to solo, it didn't leave many options.

So while I will fondly remember my time as a Tarutaru Red Mage and a Bulletproof Paladin, I won't be revisiting any Vana'diel adventure soon. Besides, there are a ton more FFXI blogs out there, written by people who have accomplished a ton more, so Google them shits, son.

I most likely will go back to writing stories, and I'll try to keep them in a separate section as soon as I figure out how to finagle a bagel Blogger like that.

-RTJ

Seasons of Life

I haven't had an easy year.

My accident, the decline of my relationship, my suspension from school, the non-existence of funds, my abysmal grades, my inability to commit to pretty much anything and the laughable trust that my word seems to have.

There have been many times when I really didn't feel like getting out of the bed. I extend my condolences to any of the people out there who truly suffer from depression, because this small iota of what I'm experiencing is almost unbearable.

I am broke, I haven't been able to afford a haircut or groceries, I don't have a job, I haven't been to the gym, I'm out of shape..

I feel like such a scrub. Most days I don't even want to get out of the bed.

I deleted my Twitter account over the weekend.

I doubt anyone is going to care, because I know I sure as hell don't.

I had a girlfriend. We had our problems, but she's a great person. The reason our relationship declined is pretty much 100% my fault because she truly tried to go above and beyond while I didn't step up to the plate.

I'm an inconsiderate jackass and I'm incapable of maintaining a prolonged relationship.

I see no point in praying about this, or asking for some sort of strength or wisdom, or believing that this small speedbump in my life is a part of a grander scheme. Ya see, I'm not religious.

Sure, I have a feeling that there might be some sort of higher power, but I firmly believe that whoever that believer is, they don't care about the personal prayers of someone who is a small part of a population of 6 billion in a Universe that stretches and expands faster than we can calculate.

Therefore, it's truly ironic that the best bit of insight I have comes from a sermon I attended when I was home some time ago.

On this fair planet, we experience four main seasons, and these seasons are synonymous with the harmonies and discords that occur in our life. While we may enjoy the new developments and opportunities that the Spring brings in addition to the prosperity and liveliness of the Summer, we try to avoid the fall, so to speak, of Autumn.

Everyone would like to appreciate things when times are good, and scramble to avoid the bad, but as is the nature with these cycles, there are two parts. What is important to realize is that the Autumn and Winter periods in our lives are not necessarily bad.

When things are crumbling apart, and the chips are stacked against us, it is extremely overwhelming. This part, however, is important, because it is the Autumn that prepares us for the rest that comes in the Winter.

This resting period is a time of reflection and a time of planning. It is during the Winter where we can sit back and take inventory of our lives, and figure out what we need in order to be successful.

Is is the rest of the Winter that prepares us to jump into Spring, revitalized with energy, motivation and the drive to succeed.

At least, that's how I understand the sermon. Paster Bernard tied that into how it's God's work and such, but I listened to it as it pertains to me, such is the nature of sermons.

Then he also asked if anybody didn't have a relationship with Jesus Christ and I respectfully stayed in my seat.

I have a lot of things I need to work on. I lost a good woman, my grades suck, and I'm unemployed and feeling like a scrub. I still have my friends, and most importantly, my health, so I can't be too down on myself.

Things suck, yeah, but they're not hopeless. Perhaps in my fall from Facebook and in the Twilight of my Twitter account, I will be able to reconnect with people and become a better person in the process.

Even if not, I'll try my best.

-RTJ

Update [10/29]:

Me and her are working things out. She's coming to visit me on the 31st and will be staying with me for about a week or so.

Reflection is the best therapy?

I am gracious for her forgiveness.

Something better than nothing?

Even if it's complete and utter bullshit, I'm going to try and blog daily. There are a number of things that interest me, but I never really write about them unless it overflows.

Taking a cue from my home girl Erin, I'm going to cut back on the Social Networking and increase my creative flow.

I used to be a funny guy. I was a lot more funnier when I wrote more.

Anyone else see the correlation?

Google Wave

I have a few more invites. Leave a comment here with your email address so you can get an invitation.

Regards!