It was a night that was neither cold nor rainy. Nor was it night. Actually, it was around noon. And it was hot. Way hot. About 130 degrees. No humidity though, that was nice. And it was kinda cloudy. So, at the very least, the sun wasn't bearing down.
BUT WAIT, THERE WERE NINJAS.
Like 80 ninjas. No, like 80,000. Now, Ninjas aren't that deadly when in large groups. Ya see, ninjas are like Green Lanterns; when there's just 1 of them, they are an army raping, planet ripping, monster eating, steel spitting hurricane of fire and brimstone wielding, asteroid summoning machina of destruction.
But you get a whole battalion of them together, and they're just cannon fodder.
Whenever you have THAT many enemies they're there because they're buying time for the bad guy to disappear. And create/summon more ninjas/demons/robots/nazis. When was the last time you saw a group of ninjas/green lanterns do something epic as opposed to that ONE hotshot the episode was about?
Look at Ninja Storm. One super ninja versus a jillion not so super ninjas/demons/robots/nazis. Or look at Hal Jordan. Now I know you're thinking Naruto, but honestly; how many unnamed Ninjas did they kill over the course of the show? How many Sand or Sound or Rain ninjas got names? Look at the hapless henchmen in sci-fi shows; they don't get name tags. Or even decent blasters.
So there were like 80 ninjas, and it was cold, and raining and dark. And it was in a jungle. So you couldn't see the ninjas. Hell, it could have been the open sea on a sunny day and you still couldn't have seen the ninjas. Well, mainly because the open sea is Pirate territory, and by default, Ninjas don't tread in those regions. Ninjas also stay away from the Wild West, because that's where Cowboys are.
But Mountain peaks, Jungles, Swamps, etc; all Ninja territory. Well, the Open Sea or the Wild West at night contains a 55% chance of slight ninja, but only if it's cloudy and a New Moon.
Where was I? Oh, honestly there were only 10 ninjas. Waffle Samurai and TACO Commander were standing, back to back of course, as they assessed the situation. The rain drops plink-plink-dripped off Waffle's straw hat, and tiny rivulets of water sloshed down TACO's goggles and his once-neatly pressed uniform.
TACO slowly looked around, his in-goggle HUD giving him the scenario win percentage at a paltry 34%. As he noticed more ninjas, it dropped until he counted the last one on the radar.
"13% chance of winning," he grimly surmised. He checked the remaining ammo on his gun. Seven shots left. Waffle drew his sword. "Correction," TACO began to say, "102% with a 2 point margin of error."
Waffle locked his eyes on the closest assailant. "I like those odds." He threw his hat in the air as he lunged forward.
0 comments:
Post a Comment